Thoughts on Elm Street Trailer and Jumbled Rants On Remakes of "They're not as Good as we remember them" 80s horror in General.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009



Nice trailer. Must say it's brought my interest up some. Which is to say I went from having no interest, to some. Good Job, Platinum Dunes!

Originally I was under the impression that this would follow the model of the "Chainsaw Massacre" and "Friday the 13th" remakes and simply be a basterdization of the original concept and story. Kind of like "of course it's a Dawn of the Dead remake, it's got zombies and a mall!" This one appears to be a little more like an actual remake, which ironically is a new concept with all of these films. They remained faithful to Freddy's look, as the red & green sweater and filthy hat return.  His origin* remains the same and he's battling Nancy Thompson** again. The reasonably iconic bathtub scene makes an appearence. Oh god, I hope the sledge hammer gag makes a comeback. However, I can't say I'm in love with the make-up effects. He looks more like a guy that got a face full of soot from an exhaust pipe, than a burn victim. Don't go stealing Moe's bit, Freddy.

I gotta say I'm a bit turned off by how seriously they're taking all of this. It's a fucking Freddy movie. True, the first one was serious, but does anyone remember that Freddy? No, we remember the  wisecracking showman . I used to play Freddy in the school yard. He was in an NES game! I've seen and heard Freddy rap. As recently as six years ago (wow), this was the Freddy that appeared on screen. It doesn't have to be serious and epic. When you over think silly concepts, it can make them sillier. Just look at G.I. Joe.

A few years ago I might have said they were fucking with a classic. That was until I had to chance to go to a screening for the film in the far flung reaches of Staten Island. It was there that I discovered the awful truth... A Nightmare On Elm Street is just alright. It has it's quirky little moments here and there, but just becomes dull one or two times too often. Even Johnny Depp's midriff and random boobytraps have trouble keeping things together. It's an example of a concept being better than the execution. But there I go, over thinking it.

I won't have much longer to complain about this kind of stuff, they're running out of popular 80s horror franchises to reboot. I think only Hellraiser is left. Might be time to start picking at the 90s. How long before Wishmaster or god help us, Leprechaun get the Michael Bay treatment? Wow, the 90s sucked. I hope no one played "Leprechaun" on the playground.

*Apparently at some point he was raised by Alice Cooper.
**I remember her name, but not a single name of a living member of my father's family. Hmmm.

Trying to figure out this here doohickey

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

I find it funny that I had to check to see if I spelled 'doohickey' correctly. Ahh, the internet. What would I do without you?

Probably crawl into a ball and die.

But anyway, still trying to figure out this blog. Trying to make it look kind of proper before an official unveiling of the site in the near future. I will be going back to the old blog, Combinations Follow, and picking out a few articles here and there that I especially liked and want to share with the world. The rest will be deleted. Why? Because why keep an old blog that made you angry? That's just dumb.

So what can you expect from this blog? As many updates as I can possibly put up on a daily basis. Lots of opinions, because that's what makes the world work. Insightful commentary about upcoming films that we might think sound awesome or sound like they suck worse than a psycho hose beast. I have a great group of friends who want to also share their opinions to the masses and I can't wait for them to share them with you. All about the ASAP.

But I'm getting a bit tired and need to continue to pack up for the big move this weekend away from this hellhole of an apartment to hopefully a less of a hellhole.

Tomorrow I will have more stuff to say. Tommy already posted something. Hopefully other people will start cranking out some posts.

Until later, my fiends.

Plastic Awesomeness.



Remember that episode of TNG, when Worf and his son Andy from Family Ties used the Holodeck to travel to the "ancient west" and battle the gang of outlaw Datas? Yeah, well I do.

I purchased this "playset" as a gift, but now I'm seriously considering keeping it for myself. I mean...Cowboy Data! Little Alexander appears to have only two points of articulation.  They don't make em' like this anymore.

A quick message from me...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I just wrote up a new article up on Forces of Geek. It's all about what 5 Marvel stories should be made into movies because of the new merger that happened in the beginning of the week. You should read it and let me know what you think.

Also, a huge Happy Birthday to the one, the only, Britt Hayes. One of the finest gals I know and wish she could be here so I could give her the biggest hug and kiss ever. Yes, this is the sweet James nobody is ever used to. It doesn't come out very often. But fuck it, it's out tonight. So deal with it.

PB&J!

What else has been going on in my life? Job interview went well, saw Inglourious Basterds and District 9 twice each. Both are superb in completely different ways yet are genre lover's dream. So those films made me happy.

Also on the horizon: G.I. Joe sequel video to our top ranking review on Youtube. Here it is for all you crazy kooky people out there.



Favorite it and spread the word. Do you want to see the Size Order Crew come back and do more reviews?? Let us know!

That's it for now. I'm tired and have another interview tomorrow. Need to be well rested for it.